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Where to Begin?


So much has happened since my return from NOLOSE and I have been too swamped with enjoying it to sit here and write it down.

First, my Visa arrived — all iridescent and affixed permanent-like to my passport. Entrance granted until nearly the end of 2014. I keep pulling it out of my purse and staring at it like it’s a portal that I can’t get through just yet. Last night I had a Back To the Future-esque dream in which I was tossing all of my belongings haphazardly into the back of my VW Beetle – clothes in paper bags and belongings all akimbo – as I prepared to hop in and get the speed up to the 142MPH(?) required to jump time and place. Time and place are 80% of what I think about these days. I woke up stressed and laughing (which seems to be my default state right now.)

Second, I’ve had some personal epiphanies that are really helping me come out of the strange slump I’ve been in the last two months. Bit too fresh and raw to post about here but I’m sure I’ll be mulling it over for its own “lessons learned the hard way” post one of these days. The important thing is that I feel nearly myself again and I am walking in more joy than I have in a long time. It’s all quite fledgling and I’m having to do a lot of daily (sometimes hourly) reminders to myself to maintain my new perspective but I feel excited to have a few new tools under my belt for navigating the more challenging parts of my psyche.

Third, I’ve had some really fun moments of connection with people I already know and love and some new folks that I’ve been meeting over the last couple of weeks. NOLOSE was full of that kind of connection and the trend has continued since. Two different friends took it upon themselves to facilitate introductions with two other amazing women whom I’m excited to learn more about — one a talented activist and writer who is working on her PhD at Yale in anthropology, another a powerhouse of a spoken word artist/writer who is doing some amazing body-positive work in the world. The first woman I met at a BBQ and adored immediately, the second I’ve just begun to engage with via Facebook. I take it as a sign that I’m moving in the right direction that I’m getting to meet such amazing, mindful, intelligent, passionate and creative women. I have a sneaking suspicion that these are the first of many such connections I will be honored to make over the next few years and that, layered upon my existing network of just-as-amazing women, will help to set a foundation for something I haven’t managed to even wrap my brain around yet.

Fourth, I had so much fun this weekend. Fat-positive dance party on Friday night with sweet friends, birthday party hopping on Saturday night, Fatty brunch and laze-about day on Sunday, and a wonderful dinner with a dear friend tonight after which I got to hold an adorable chicken! (Felt a bit bad having just eaten chicken prior but, you know, circle of life. Sorry vegetarians.) Looking forward to a visit with my Mom tues-thurs, a movie night on Friday with a friend and then another amazing weekend of rad fattiness with an out-of-town guest and all the community-gathering that will accompany her visit as well as the Chunky Dunk on Sunday.

Fifth, I said my goodbyes at work today. I had to go in for a meeting and realized while I was there that it was likely the last time I’d have to go in before I moved. Strange thought. I hugged the folks that mattered, took some photos and walked out the door with my first taste of finality, bittersweet on my tongue.

Sixth, I booked my plane ticket to London this morning. I don’t even want to talk about how much it was. But it’s done. Same flight back as the Girl. I wasn’t able to select seats but I’d like to see someone argue about who gets to sit next to the fatty — I figure it’ll work out. 😉 Leave date is officially August 26th.

The last thing I have to sort out is financial aid. I’m working on it. Submitted my FAFSA over the weekend and it seems to have been processed this morning however I couldn’t pull any of my information out of their system for some reason. Have an email into the university asking them about my next steps. It looks like a mix of direct and personal loans. *sigh* This is the scariest part but I’ll figure it out. I always do.

And now, to bed. Tomorrow, to Silverton.

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